"Show Me Your Glory"--True Story!

I was driving to Birmingham to a funeral and in preparation for my trip, had charged my iphone the night before. After traveling for about 45 minutes, I needed to let my husband know that I was safely on the interstate headed towards Alabama. But when I glanced at my phone, the screen was completely black and the phone was dead. I tried turning it on, rebooting it, etc. Nothing. No response. 

My radio was tuned to "The Fish" (as usual) and I turned down the volume so that I could have a little "chat" with God. "Lord," I said. "You know that I am traveling to meet old friends at this funeral and I need my phone. I am by myself and besides, I have never been to this funeral home and may have to call them if I get lost. So please tell me what you want me to do. I am too far away from home to go to the Apple store near my house. But I need a working phone, so I am turning this one over to you!"

I finished my prayer and turned the volume back up on the radio. Praise the Lord, there was Mac Powell's beautiful voice with the rest of Third Day singing, "Show Me Your Glory"!!! I just laughed out loud at that moment and said, "Okay, God--I get it! You are going to 'Show Me Your Glory'! I can hardly wait to see this 'Glory Revealed!"

At that moment, I had a thought--up ahead was a large mall and it occurred to me that there was probably an AT&T store somewhere around the mall. So I made the decision to get off the freeway at the mall exit and look for an AT&T store since they also sell iphones. Confident that due to "God's Glory", I would find one, I took my exit and got to the top of the ramp at the red light. As I was crossing over the freeway, I immediately realized that I had taken the WRONG exit! Oh! Well! I was pressed for time, but figured I just needed to find a place to turn around and go back to the freeway and take the next exit. I had gone about a block and was preparing to turn at the light when all of a sudden I see an AT&T sign right in front of me! 

I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car and took my phone into the store. After telling the nice young man who waited on me about my dilemma, he did something called a "hard reset" that involved holding down two different buttons at the same time. I don't understand the technology, but I did understand that it worked! I was out of the store and on my way in about 5 minutes!

This story was for me, a vivid illustration that God listens and answers even the smallest of prayers. Not only did he give me the inspiration to look for an AT&T store, but he caused me to exit at just the right time, which was different that where I thought I was going! And isn't that just like God--leading us in a direction that is not where we thought we were going to go!

It also shows that our FAITH involves CONFIDENCE, a KNOWING that "All is Well" and that God is in charge. It requires that we TRUST God to handle things in his way and his time. And he loves it when we demonstrate our faith and trust through our thoughts, words and actions. It also proves that when we surrender to HIS plan, he works things out for us in miraculous ways--ways that we could never accomplish on our own. I completely trusted him and even when I thought I was on the "wrong" path, he showed me that by following him, I was exactly where I needed to be.

He also gave me an amazing gift--the gift of a promise! Third Day's song "Show Me Your Glory" is from the "Come Together" album that was released in 2001. So the song is essentially 8 years old and even though it is one of my all-time favorites, I hardly ever hear it on the radio any more. So just hearing the song at all was unusual, but to hear it at that very moment was a miracle. And proves that we serve an AWESOME God with a great sense of humor!

So the next time you face one of those frustrating, everyday life "challenges", stop for a moment, look up and ask God to "Show His Glory"! He might just surprise you!

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Her articles are published by Crosswalk.com and "The Fish" family of Christian radio station websites around the country. She shares "Reflections" on Life and Marriage on her website, www.inspiredreflections.info. And she is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps to harness the power of your choices and bring more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. Join her on  Facebook and Twitter/InspireReflect.

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When It's Hard To Give Thanks

The holiday of Thanksgiving provides us an opportunity to reflect upon all the things for which we are thankful. For most people, the upcoming season is a time for creating fond memories with family, friends, and food. But for many of us, especially those who are out of work, battling health problems, or suffering a loss of some sort, it is a time when giving thanks for anything may seem nearly impossible to do.

The years following the day that my beloved 83-year-old Grandmother walked downtown by herself, purchased a gun and put a bullet into her beautiful, graceful head, marked one of those times for me. Trying to make sense of her actions tore our family into shreds. Suicide takes death and loss to a whole different level. Those who are left behind must cope with much more than grief.

Instead of the natural, peaceful death that we imagine for our loved ones, there is now a violent element that we can never forget. There are pictures in your head that can't be erased and questions in your soul that can never be answered. And the guilt (however undeserved) plunges you into a private form of hell. You second-guess everything you did, said, or failed to do for years after in a futile attempt to turn back time and change the course of your personal history.

Regardless of the reason, depression and despair make it difficult to breath, to get up and go through the motions of the day. Giving thanks never enters the radar of your consciousness. But I have learned that the simple act of giving thanks is the first step away from despondency and the beginning of a journey towards joy again.

"Out of the darkness and into the light" has been a recurring theme for me, and one that I have explored in art several times. When my first husband moved out and we were separated for almost 2 ½ years, I also went through a very dark time. For years, I have struggled with just how to cope when life punches you in the gut, your legs crumble out from under you and you fall to your knees in pure anguish.

For most of us, the way out of the darkness becomes a sort of pilgrimage to unearth our authentic selves and establish a tangible, genuine, reliable connection with our Creator. And finding a way to give thanks is the key to beginning that quest.

If we really try, we can always find something, anything for which to be thankful. If you hate your job, at least you have one. If you are sick and in pain, you may have a family who loves you and wants to minister to your needs. If you are alone and lonely, you probably have a roof over your head that is keeping you safe and secure. And if you are homeless, there is assistance out there and people who care and want to help. This is not meant to minimize the pain and torment of life's most difficult circumstances. It is merely intended to illustrate that no matter how bad things are, we can always find something positive if we will try. It involves a change of perspective, a willingness to begin the healing process, and a desire to feel happy again.

We have all heard the cliché that if you look around, you can always find someone else whose problems are worse than yours. And this may be no consolation when you are hurting deeply. But there is a reason that clichés persist; there is a grain of truth in them. The simple act of looking outside of yourself takes the focus away from you momentarily. And that is the essence of finding peace in the midst of chaos—moving the emphasis away from you and towards others.

I have also learned that the darkest periods of my life have a purpose. They serve not only to teach me, but also to give me empathy and understanding when others cross my path bearing their own suffering.

Several years after my Grandmother's tragic suicide, our family was again plunged into the horror of this tortured act of self-destruction. My husband's younger brother, and then a few years later, one of his cousins, also took their own lives. Because of my own experience with suicide, I had a deeper insight into their pain and torment. My attempts to offer love and solace were not only heart-felt, but they were given with an awareness and a comprehension of the vast array of emotions felt by those of us who are left behind to try and make sense of a loved one's desire to end their own life. I couldn't make the situation any better or any more bearable, but I could share my love with more compassion and a greater sensitivity to the circumstances.

If you are finding it difficult to give thanks this holiday season, I can relate. I have found myself in a similar situation, more than once. I can't claim to know how you feel because we are all on our own unique journeys. But I do know what it is like to be so devastated, so broken, and so despondent that life seems to hold no joy, no hope and no peace. However, there are some universal truths that can serve to deliver you from that darkness.

1. God is REAL and he LOVES us.

I KNOW this because he delivered me and he showed me, step-by-step, the way out of my own darkness. He never promised us a life without trouble, but he did promise to always walk through those troubles with us. And he often uses our experiences to teach, guide and help one another along this path we call life. God's light is a welcome beacon in the darkness, guiding us to a brighter tomorrow. And God can take the most difficult and painful of circumstances and turn them around for our good and his glory.

     2.             Being thankful is the first step towards changing your mindset.

 

Start with finding something, anything for which you can give thanks. It might be as tiny as the laughter of a child, a glimpse of the sun on a cloudy day, or the warmth of a fire in your hearth on a cold one. If you make the effort, I promise—you WILL find something. Keep saying "thank you" over and over and a wondrous thing will begin to happen. You will start discovering other things for which you are grateful. Add them to your "thank you" list. Don't stop giving thanks--make it part of your daily routine, all throughout the day, not just in the morning or at night. And when a new "something" reveals itself, say "thank you" at that moment as well. It might be as silly as the light changing to green, or as moving and meaningful as the loving gesture of a friend or family member. Train yourself to realize that each and every "good" thing in life is a reason to celebrate and give thanks.

1. Giving to others is a gift to yourself.

 

Make a choice to do something to help someone else. You can start small; bring your co-worker their favorite flavor from the coffee shop. Bake a batch of cookies for the neighborhood children. Even better, volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Join a committee for a charitable cause. Give blood, comfort babies born addicted to crack, read to shut-ins at a nursing home. ANYTHING—just venture outside yourself and GIVE of yourself to someone else. I know it feels like your well is dry and that you have nothing left to give. But you are WRONG—your pain, your despair, your circumstances make you uniquely qualified to feel compassion and understand the suffering of others.

Besides helping others, we ourselves grow and mature more from the struggles of our lives than from any other situation. It you are going through a rough period right now, use this time to develop your faith, to strengthen your weaknesses, to conquer your fears, to reach out to others who are hurting too. Believe it or not, trials and misfortunes can be gifts in disguise. They are gifts that help us to hone our coping skills, bolster our resolve and fortify our convictions. They reinforce our character and serve us well when the next challenge of our lives comes along.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”                                                                                                                                                   ~  James 1:2-4

So as we approach Thanksgiving, use this time to be thankful for what you have rather than dwelling on what you have lost. Give of yourself—you are a carefully crafted creation with unique talents, experiences and gifts that ONLY YOU can share. Seek professional counseling if you need help taking the first steps. Ask God for his guidance; he IS there and he has not forsaken you! Don't isolate yourself with pain and despair as your only companions. Seek out the company of others and surround yourself with loving, caring people who can help you to see the joy that life holds.

I realize that serious circumstances may involve more guidance than a mere article or the sharing of my personal story can provide. But I want to leave you with hope, with a place to start and with the knowledge that you are not alone.

There IS an end to this sorrow, but it is you who has to take the first step to find your way, "out of the darkness and into the light." I promise you, the journey is well worth the effort and if I managed to do it, then I believe that you can too. Remember, big changes start with small steps--are you ready to begin taking yours?

My sincerest prayer for a Happy Thanksgiving to you all…

"The Lord is my shepherd. He gives me everything I need…he gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths for the honor of his name. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid. You are with me…" ~ Psalm 23

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Her articles are published by Crosswalk.com and "The Fish" family of Christian radio station websites around the country. She shares "Reflections" on Life and Marriage on her website, www.inspiredreflections.info. And she is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps for bringing more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. Join her on Facebook and Twitter/InspireReflect.

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Is a Soul Mate a Sham?

There has been a lot of hoopla in the media lately regarding the use of the term, “soul mate” by South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford, to justify his extra-marital affair. Our society has romanticized the notion of finding your soul mate for generations. There is something mesmerizing about the conviction that there is one person out there that is a perfect match for us, just waiting to be found.

And many couples enthusiastically use the term to describe one another when they first “fall” in love. The thrill of love in its infancy and the joy that we experience, seem to indicate that we have found that one perfect person that completes us and makes us better together than we were apart.

But when the reality of merging two lives into one collides with our romantic stirrings, many people deduce that they didn’t find their “soul mate” after all.  So they seek excitement or solace in the arms of someone else, or they part ways and are once again involved in the quest to fulfill their fantasy of finding the one and only person on this entire planet, who will make them happy.

And therein lies the first problem with this philosophy—our happiness is our own responsibility. If you are looking for someone else to complete you, to fill your life, to be the source of your contentedness, then you will be searching in vain your whole life. And you are placing an unreasonable expectation upon everyone with whom you develop a serious, romantic attachment.

Spouses, partners, friends and family are not here to make us happy. They are here for their own spiritual journey. When their lives intersect with ours, we can love one another, support each other, demonstrate kindness, and enhance our experience of being on this planet. But our ultimate happiness is not derived from other people, or even from our external circumstances. It comes from an attitude within us, our connection with God, and our choice to take personal responsibility for our own lives. Even a purported “soul mate” has no power to sustain our joy, our happiness, or our value and self-worth.

I found it interesting to read the various definitions of a soul mate:  “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament, a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs”, “a person, especially of the opposite sex, with whom one has a deeply personal relationship”, and even, “a person with whom one gets along well because of having shared interests and experiences.” Hmmm…sounds a lot like how most of us have described our spouses at one time or another!

So how do we go from this definition of a “soul mate”--our own spouse, with whom we have “a deeply personal relationship”, who is “perfectly suited” to us, and who shares our “attitudes, beliefs, interests and experiences”, to “falling” out of love?

Well, this is the second problem with our romantic ideology about love. We use the terms, “falling in and out” of love when in reality, love is a choice. The feeling that initially attracts us to someone, is more akin to lust than to the true definition of pure, real, love. And that is why it doesn’t last. There is no way to sustain that level of fiery passion for a lifetime. And when our lives intrude upon our romantic inclinations, we start to believe that there is something wrong with our relationship.

But that is not always true. Passion burns with intensity at the beginning of a relationship. It is exciting, it feels good and we are often consumed by it. But all fires eventually burn themselves out when they run out of fuel. It is our job, as marital partners, to remember to “fuel” our relationship, to nurture it, to feed it, to cultivate it so that it can grow, develop and evolve into a sustainable and mutually beneficial partnership.

We must make a daily choice to continue to love one another and remember that little things can make a big difference. Ever since we were first married almost 18 years ago, my husband leaves a note for me on our bathroom mirror. He keeps a pad of sticky notes in his drawer and writes me a short message every day. And if one of us is traveling, he sends it to me in an email.

He takes his inspiration from whatever is happening in our lives at the moment or from his morning devotional reading. Sometimes he thanks me for something I have done, other times he compliments me, occasionally he apologizes, often he writes an uplifting and encouraging message, and sometimes he just simply says, “I love you.” There are usually just a few sentences, but they mean the world to me. They make me feel loved, appreciated, valued and cherished.

And he has told me that in the disciplined act of writing these daily affirmations of his feelings, he “finds a new reason to love me, every day”. That is also the advice that he gives to all newly married couples he encounters; “Find a new reason to love one another, every day.”

That attitude demonstrates the realization that LOVE IS A CHOICE. It illustrates how to make the choice to continue to love, day after day, in spite of any circumstances that might detract you. And it exemplifies how you successfully transition from the blazing, passionate flames of new love, to the warm, glowing embers of a love that lasts a lifetime.

It is also interesting to note that while The Bible gives us a great definition and much advice regarding “Love”, I could find no reference at all to a “soul mate”. God never instructs us to seek out a soul mate. However, if we follow the precepts of marriage he provides, then it is possible to develop the spiritual, physical, and emotional connections implied in the term.

So is the notion of a soul mate some sort of sham? Perhaps. But I believe that my spouse is my soul mate--not because of some mystical twist of fate, but because we work on our marriage every day to ensure that our “soul mate status” remains intact.

We seek contentment and happiness within ourselves, try to limit our selfish behavior, forgive easily and quickly, and strive to maintain our connection with God and with each other. We appreciate each other and endeavor to find new reasons to love one another on a daily basis. We spend time together, sharing “interests and experiences”.  And we make the choice, every day to continue to love each other, respect each other, and treat each other with kindness, compassion and patience.

Perhaps we should all start embracing the notion that “soul mates” are made, not born, that we can become soul mates with our partners. After all, what we really want when we seek a soul mate is someone that excites us, someone we can depend upon, and someone who really loves us for who we are. Put in those terms, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched or out-of-reach, does it?

I know that becoming soul mates with our spouses requires more work on our part than just getting “lucky” and “finding” them does, but at least we don’t have to abandon our romantic desire for the level of connection and intimacy that the term “soul mate” represents to us. We can stop “searching the world” and start searching our own homes. And best of all, with God’s help, if we will integrate this mindset into our marriages, we can actually turn the fantasy of a soul mate into a reality.

Take a good look at your spouse today and see if you can’t “fan the flames” of love a bit. You just might find that you have been married to your “soul mate” all along, after all.

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe that God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”  ~ Colossians 3:14 (The Message)

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Her articles are published by Crosswalk.com and "The Fish" family of Christian radio station websites around the country. She shares "Reflections" on Life and Marriage on her website, www.inspiredreflections.info. And she is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps for bringing more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. Join her on Facebook and Twitter/InspireReflect.

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Trust the Process

How many times in your life have you looked back over the evolution of a certain situation and seen with complete clarity how all the steps were perfectly directed to arrive at the present conclusion? Yet, while you were on the journey, you couldn’t ascertain the outcome and had no understanding of what each “step” would mean to the eventual resulting set of circumstances. It is one of the reasons that we say “hindsight is 20/20”.

But what if there were a way to have 20/20 vision while you are still on the journey, before the resolution is revealed to you? How different would your daily mindset be? How would this knowledge impact your life?

Deepak Chopra says that pure FAITH is “the ability to step into the unknown and be comfortable with uncertainty”. As we grapple with the challenges in our lives, wouldn’t it change our whole perspective if we could get “comfortable with uncertainty”?

Well, we CAN, and we do that by “Trusting the Process”. When you pray about a situation, God IS listening and he IS responding. But sometimes we don’t recognize his responses because they don’t take the form that we expect. When you align yourself to be in regular communion with God, praying “constantly” by having an ongoing conversation with your Creator, you will gain the insight that allows you to truly “Let Go and Let God” work in your life. You understand that what you may perceive as a setback may instead be a shortcut on the journey to where God is leading you.

And you learn to trust that God may be directing you to somewhere other than where you were expecting to go! But by “trusting the process”, you will see the realization of even greater blessings than you could have imagined for yourself. Instead of getting frustrated and angry when things don’t go your way, you can relax when you accept that they may very well be going God’s way instead. And his way is perfect--he knows us completely, he knows what we need, when we need it, and what we need to LEARN along the way. He also knows the best way to teach those lessons to us. Many of the “aggravations” that plague our daily lives are simply opportunities designed for us to grow and learn valuable life lessons that we may not be able to learn any other way. And don’t forget that he is utilizing your life to teach and impact others as well!

That annoying acquaintance who is always boasting about their accomplishments, or their children’s achievements, may in reality be an insecure, unhappy individual that God has placed in your path so that you can demonstrate his unconditional love, his mercy, and his forgiveness. He may be using you to reach them and he may be trying to teach you a lesson about patience, humility, compassion for others, and how to see those around you through his eyes. They may be in your life so that you are challenged to learn to “love your neighbor as yourself”.

That new set of responsibilities your boss just “dumped” on your desk, may very well be the key to a future promotion, could be teaching you a new skill set that you can use to further your career, or may be necessary in your next position. Don’t forget, God can see into the future; we can’t. So doesn’t it stand to reason that we should rely on his judgment? Besides, an employee who cheerfully accepts new duties is perceived as much more valuable than one who consistently grumbles and complains about being given more “work”.

And if you lose a job or a promotion, instead of being disappointed or frightened, what would happen if you instead started seeking God’s next “open door” for you? What if you trusted that the door he will open is even better than the one that was closed--wouldn’t you be more peaceful and confident? And those traits are attractive to employers. Many more doors will be open to someone who radiates a sense of calm, composure and self-assurance than will be to one who exhibits fear and anxiety. So simply by changing your mindset, trusting God, and trusting the process, you will be adopting the very attributes that will ultimately bring you a better job and greater success that you would have achieved if you had stayed where you were. Just ask the number of entrepreneurs in the world who wouldn’t have had the courage to start their own businesses if they hadn’t first been fired.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”                          ~ Romans 15:13

When we learn that the only things we can control in this life are our choices and our attitudes--not the outcomes, not the consequences, not other people or their reactions, then we are FREE to completely trust God for our answers, our resolutions to problems, and our futures. And if we trust that because of our prayers, God is actively working to direct our lives towards our best outcome, then it becomes much easier to “trust the process” and view the steps along the way as important and necessary, even if we don’t yet understand them or even like or agree with them!

You may be asking yourself how, in the midst of a crisis, can you remember to trust the process.  We have all seen the “Stop—Children at Play” signs along the roadways and in our neighborhoods.  Well, we have signs along the roadways of our lives as well. Just visualize a “STOP—God at Work” sign whenever you need a gentle reminder of how to respond to negative situations that appear along your path.

Dan Caro is one of those “signs” and can teach all of us much about trusting the process. He is an extraordinary example of “God at Work”. At the age of two, he sustained third degree burns to 70% of his body when the pilot light of the hot water heater ignited the gasoline fumes in his family’s garage. He subsequently lost his right hand and most of his left hand and still carries the severe scars left from that tragic day. But listening to this young man’s tale of triumph over tragedy is a testament to the power of CHOICE. Despite his accident, the horrific pain, the numerous surgeries he has endured and the physical and emotional trauma he experienced, he has chosen to be positive, upbeat and inspirational. He has learned to play the drums and is a well-respected musician. He considers this experience a gift that allows him to inspire others as he travels, sharing his story of hope, faith and trust. He even titled his book, which is coming out next year, The Gift of Fire. Now THAT is “Trusting the Process”!

For us to embrace this mindset, all that is necessary is that we TRUST that God is working the BEST possible way for the BEST possible overall result—one that blesses us and glorifies him. One that moves us a step closer to becoming all that he intends for us to become. One that helps us to grow, to learn, to mature. And one that sets the stage for the next steps in the next journey of our lives.  God can take even the most painful and harrowing of circumstances and use them for our good and his glory—if we make the choice to trust.

When you choose to live your life this way, you will find that everyday disappointments don’t have the same impact that they used to. You will no longer be a “victim” to your circumstances. You will have discovered the power of CHOOSING your mindset, your attitude and your feelings. And you realize that this world, its people, and its events no longer hold power over you. You will experience greater Peace and Joy in your everyday existence. You will uncover the hidden opportunities presented within the challenges you face and ultimately attain the precious treasure of WISDOM. Remember, True Wisdom flows from God and comes to those who are not jaded by experience or circumstance, but enlightened because of it!

So the next time you start to feel upset, frustrated, or disappointed with the situation in which you find yourself, just stop, ask for God’s divine wisdom, and remember to TRUST the PROCESS—God IS at work!

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.”                                                                                      ~ Isaiah 26:3

You can learn more about Dan Caro at his website: www.dancaro.com.

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Her articles are published by Crosswalk.com and "The Fish" family of Christian radio station websites around the country. She shares "Reflections" on Life and Marriage on her website, www.inspiredreflections.info. And she is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps for bringing more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. Join her on Facebook and Twitter/InspireReflect.

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Little Choices

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." ~ Unknown

The art of crafting your life begins with each (often seemingly insignificant), choice you make all throughout every day. Choosing to eat a healthy breakfast rather than the doughnut you really want. Giving up your seat to the pregnant woman on the train. Taking time out of your busy morning to speak to the receptionist about her sick dog. Using your assistant's mistake as an opportunity to teach rather than reprimand. Playing catch with your child even though you feel the pressure of a project not finished. Making an extra meal for a sick neighbor. Tucking the children into bed on time so that you and your spouse have some time for just the two of you.

Each of these choices taken alone may not seem noteworthy. But the truth is that each one may be more important than you realize and may actually offer an opportunity to change someone's life.

Recently, I joined the 10-day Giving Challenge issued by Bob Lotich who authors a website on finance called ChristianPF.com. This challenge is simply to seek opportunities to give of your time, your talent, your energy and/or your money to someone in need every day for 10 days. It is amazing how different your perspective becomes when you are actively seeking chances to bless someone else. Not only does your attitude improve, but you are also setting in motion a powerful chain of events where the ripple effect goes far beyond what you may ever know. It is not always easy to take the focus off our own lives and see, really see, the needs around us. Yet many of these needs are things that we have the power to impact with very little effort.

You may feel that you are just one solitary person, but many solitary individuals have made significant contributions and have even changed the course of history with one, or a series of seemingly small choices: Moses, David, Noah, Martin Luther, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Clara Barton, Nelson Mandela, Helen Keller, Thomas Edison, and on and on and on…

The key to positively directing your choices is to maintain an open, active and dynamic connection with our Creator. I know when I am not doing that. It becomes evident in my discontent, my impatience, my frustration, my confusion and the lack of peace in my life. When I am connected to God, talking to him throughout the day (which is my definition of praying "without ceasing"), and feeling his presence walking with me; then I have a sense of peace even in the midst of chaos. I am able to keep my anger, my fear, my impatience and my frustration with life's challenges, in check. I have a much clearer understanding of my options and a better perspective on which direction I should take. I can trust the "voice" that guides me and don't get so sidetracked with multiple messages that can otherwise bombard my mind.

"For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe." ~ Proverbs 2:10-11

In order to maintain that strong, active connection, I utilize several tools to help me. I like to start my day with devotional readings including scripture. I take time for confession, to pray for others, to thank God for my blessings and to lift up my own needs so that I can release my concerns about them. I created a file on my desktop that is my prayer list and I regularly update and refer to it. I am very moved by music, so I keep my radio station on "The Fish" and fill my mind, my heart and my spirit with uplifting messages—with songs that inspire and motivate me to keep God at the center of my life, songs of praise, and songs asking for divine wisdom and direction. I remind myself to talk to God regularly throughout the day, telling him how I am feeling, asking for his help with any and everything, and thanking him for even the smallest of blessings—the light changing to green, the short lines at the check-out, finding something I was seeking, even the fact that the sun is shining or the rain is falling. I joined a ChristCare group at my church for study and communion with others in a small group setting. I became a Stephen Minister to serve others. I try to not only open and close my day with God, but to acknowledge his presence throughout the whole day.

On the days that I successfully make these "little" choices, I find that I am closer to God, am better able to renew my faith daily, and am strengthened to handle the struggles that are an inevitable part of life. Conversely, I can really feel it when I don't incorporate these choices into my day! I have discovered that they are a big part of bringing more peace into my world and allowing me to share that peace with those around me.

Another "little" thing you can do is to make sure that you are telling the people in your life, family and friends, that you love them, every chance you get. Simply saying "I love you" before you hang up the phone, or signing your emails with a statement about how much you care, can provide an unexpected boost to someone's day. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it will become. A genuine expression of love and care for another person has a very healing and powerful effect.

And how many of you stop to say a prayer before you have a meal? I started praying before my meals, even in public, many years ago and it is amazing the impact that one act has on those around me. I may just quietly and discreetly bow my head, or if the situation seems to warrant it, I may ask if others at the table would like to join me. Again, if I am actively connected to God, then I am able to trust my instincts on how to proceed. I am not praying to draw attention to myself; rather I am truly grateful for the sustenance of food when so many in the world are going hungry at that very moment. It is a humbling gesture and a simple way to acknowledge one of life's most important blessings.

We often put lots of thought, prayer and research into the big choices in our lives, but seem to make the little ones automatically, without much thought at all. Yet the cumulative effect of all those "little" choices can have a big impact on our lives, our health, and our relationships with others.

So start paying attention to the "little" things you do every day. Give them a greater measure of your attention by realizing the power of ALL your choices, not just the big ones. Rectify a mistake as soon as you realize you have made it. Take a walk. Say you are sorry sooner. Call your parents more often. Hug your kids every time you can. Compliment your spouse regularly. Choose broiled over fried. Help around the house more. Offer to do something for someone without expecting anything in return. Find a new avenue to volunteer your time and talents. Join a small group at church. Select a new devotion you like and read it and a Bible verse every day. Talk to God in the car. Choose to respond rather than react. Get a sitter and take your spouse on a date or away for a weekend alone.

As you change your focus and start giving more weight to all your daily choices-- even the little ones, you will start to see how your life intersects, and is divinely connected to, the lives of those around you. You will begin noticing new opportunities to bless others and you will feel the joy that only comes from pure love and compassion. As you switch from running your life on "automatic" to purposely directing and guiding your choices, you will see powerful changes taking place all around you. And who knows, the primary life you enhance may just turn out to be your own.

"You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life…" ~ Deuteronomy 30:20

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Her articles are published by Crosswalk.com and "The Fish" family of Christian radio station websites around the country. She shares "Reflections" on Life and Marriage on her website, www.inspiredreflections.info. And she is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps for bringing more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. Join her on Facebook and Twitter/InspireReflect.

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Faith Versus Knowledge

Today I am praying for a dear friend who is in surgery as I write this, having a double mastectomy.  This is the beginning of her journal to battle a disease that shakes the core of even the strongest of women--breast cancer.  And yet this remarkable woman is so calm, so peaceful, so unruffled.  She has discovered the secret to living a peaceful life, even in the face of a potentially devastating disease.  Even as she submits to a surgery that will mutilate her body.  Even though she knows this is just of beginning of a long, painful fight to rid her of this life-threatening malignancy.

As I read my daily devotion in God Calling this morning, I was struck by the line, “Faith is too priceless a possession to be sacrificed in order to purchase knowledge.”  It reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, tempted by Satan to eat from the Tree of Knowledge.  And aren’t we guilty of the same thing every time we strive to control the outcome of our lives?  We get so frustrated trying to work out the details of our futures that we forget the simple act of FAITH.

 Hebrews 11:1 gives us a definition of faith:  “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  And I love The Message translation:  “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It’s our handle on what we can’t see.”

 How many of us can truthfully say that the very foundation upon which our lives are built is this kind of faith?  How many of us would be as peaceful as my friend if we were lying on a gurney about to have our breasts cut off?

 But what if our foundations were built on that kind of faith?  What would our lives be like if we remembered each day, with all its challenges and with every trial to simply have faith?  Not knowledge, but FAITH?  What if we didn’t seek so much to know as simply to trust?

 I believe that we would become more comfortable with the uncertainties in our lives.  We would greatly reduce the amount of stress we experience because there would be no need to worry or fret.  We would transform our daily existence into a peaceful walk through life.  The everyday frustrations that so often dominate our consciousness, would melt away as we embrace the simple fact that God is on the throne.  He is in charge, he is our GOD and his divine plan is ultimately the best outcome for our lives, regardless of whatever that turns out to be.

 Living this way would take a lot of pressure off of us.  We would no longer be consumed with trying to manipulate and figure out the future.  Instead we would be free to enjoy the present, to experience the simple pleasure of LIVING.  We would embrace the joy of being in the moment and relax in the peace that comes with releasing all worries.  We could truly live by the mantra that “The Journey IS the Destination.”

 And do we really want to KNOW all the outcomes of our lives beforehand?  Isn’t the anticipation, the uncertainty, an important part of the journey?  How would we gain wisdom from our experiences if we knew everything before it happened?  We would just be going through the motions rather than participating and being affected in a deeply personal way.

 Psalm 34:14 tells us to “search for peace and work to maintain it”.  This tells me that our living a peaceful life is important to God.  And it should be important to us.  The challenge is to find Peace through Faith, not through Knowledge.  My friend has figured out how to do that.  And I am learning...

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 

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Faith Versus Knowledge

Faith Versus Knowledge

 

Today I am praying for a dear friend who is in surgery as I write this, having a double mastectomy.  This is the beginning of her journal to battle a disease that shakes the core of even the strongest of women--breast cancer.  And yet this remarkable woman is so calm, so peaceful, so unruffled.  She has discovered the secret to living a peaceful life, even in the face of a potentially devastating disease.  Even as she submits to a surgery that will mutilate her body.  Even though she knows this is just of beginning of a long, painful fight to rid her of this life-threatening malignancy.

 

As I read my daily devotion in God Calling this morning, I was struck by the line, “Faith is too priceless a possession to be sacrificed in order to purchase knowledge.”  It reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, tempted by Satan to eat from the Tree of Knowledge.  And aren’t we guilty of the same thing every time we strive to control the outcome of our lives?  We get so frustrated trying to work out the details of our futures that we forget the simple act of FAITH.

 

Hebrews 11:1 gives us a definition of faith:  “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  And I love The Message translation:  “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It’s our handle on what we can’t see.”

 

How many of us can truthfully say that the very foundation upon which our lives are built is this kind of faith?  How many of us would be as peaceful as my friend if we were lying on a gurney about to have our breasts cut off?

 

But what if our foundations were built on that kind of faith?  What would our lives be like if we remembered each day, with all its challenges and with every trial to simply have faith?  Not knowledge, but FAITH?  What if we didn’t seek so much to know as simply to trust?

 

I believe that we would become more comfortable with the uncertainties in our lives.  We would greatly reduce the amount of stress we experience because there would be no need to worry or fret.  We would transform our daily existence into a peaceful walk through life.  The everyday frustrations that so often dominate our consciousness, would melt away as we embrace the simple fact that God is on the throne.  He is in charge, he is our GOD and his divine plan is ultimately the best outcome for our lives, regardless of whatever that turns out to be.

 

Living this way would take a lot of pressure off of us.  We would no longer be consumed with trying to manipulate and figure out the future.  Instead we would be free to enjoy the present, to experience the simple pleasure of LIVING.  We would embrace the joy of being in the moment and relax in the peace that comes with releasing all worries.  We could truly live by the mantra that “The Journey IS the Destination.”

 

And do we really want to KNOW all the outcomes of our lives beforehand?  Isn’t the anticipation, the uncertainty, an important part of the journey?  How would we gain wisdom from our experiences if we knew everything before it happened?  We would just be going through the motions rather than participating and being affected in a deeply personal way.

 

Psalm 34:14 tells us to “search for peace and work to maintain it”.  This tells me that our living a peaceful life is important to God.  And it should be important to us.  The challenge is to find Peace through Faith, not through Knowledge.  My friend has figured out how to do that.  And I am learning...

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 3:5

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"What's On Your Mind?"

All day, every day, our minds are bombarded with messages.  Movies, 24-hour news channels, talk radio, videos, commercials, television programming, friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, emails, conversations of which we are a part, and those we hear around us--all play continuously as the background noise in our lives.  Have you ever stopped to consider the tone and impact of the messages received by your brain on a perpetual basis?

There are numerous studies supporting the fact that subliminal messages DO, in fact, affect our thoughts and behaviors.  Our brains are stimulated by sight and sound.  Brain scans reveal that we often record messages that we are unaware of having seen or heard.  And we all know that everything our brains take in, stays there--forever.  Even suppressed memories can be uncovered through hypnosis and psychotherapy.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, our brains are consistently being programmed by what we see and what we hear.  And those messages are affecting our attitudes, our moods, our values, and ultimately, our choices.  So isn’t it in your best interest to control your brain’s exposure, as much as it is possible to do so?

Consider what is coming into your home via your television screen, your computer monitor, your stereo and car speakers.  Does your T.V. stay tuned to a news channel?  They are notorious for covering the same stories over and over again throughout the day.  Abducted and murdered children, celebrity divorces and recurring stints in rehab, campus shooting rampages, rapes, wars, etc., etc.  Have you ever considered the damage you may be doing to your psyche to hear the horrors of the day being played on a continuous loop in your mind?

Movies and video games are noted for exploiting violence, each pushing the previous limits aside in an attempt to out-do the other and go further than has been gone before.  Our children, and even ourselves, are being desensitized to seeing people shot, stabbed, strangled, raped, and mutilated.  Study after study has proven a correlation between exposure to violence and aggressive/violent behavior.  And we are all familiar with the countless examples of generational abuse.  Children often learn to be violent by watching violence around them.  And yet, we continue to invite it into our homes through our televisions and computers!

Violence is not the only negative impact of the messages swirling around us.  The conversations, attitudes and behaviors of those around us, are also a part of what our brains take in everyday.  Are you spending time around people who are upbeat, positive, who share your values, and who support you in your efforts to achieve your goals?

Or, are those who share your days gossiping about one another, obsessively following the latest sensational murder trials and the various exploits of the “celebrity of the day”?  Are they “poor old me” people who concentrate on what is wrong with their lives, rather than what is right?  Do they talk about their troubles or their blessings?  Do they lift you up and support you, or try to keep you from advancing yourself?  Do they encourage you or do they demean your dreams?

“A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

                                                                                                                            ~ Proverbs 12:26

It is imperative that you purposely, deliberately, seek to surround yourself with as many positive, upbeat, inspiring, confident, motivating and cheerful messages as you possibly can.  Keep your mind open to the possibilities in life, rather than the limitations.  Turn your radio station to soothing music, or turn it off and have a conversation with your Creator!

Limit the time you spend with negative people and seek out friends who support your values, your goals and your dreams.  Read books, articles and watch programs and movies with happy, inspirational themes.  Occupy your mind, your time, and your thoughts with activities and people who can promote healthy, “good-for-you” thoughts and feelings.  

Conduct a self-check each day and ask yourself, “What’s on my mind”?  If you don’t like the answer, then change the channel!

“Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper.  Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.”

                                                                                                                             Philippians 4:8

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"Why Can't I Just Whine?"

A friend who is going through a rough time right now, expressed that she just wanted to “whine”. Haven’t we all felt that way at times? I know that I have told my (patient) husband many times, “Just let me VENT!” And it is often healthy to express yourself verbally, to acknowledge your feelings. A good cry can be cleansing, even cathartic. But tempting as it is to howl, grumble or complain about our problems, we all eventually have to answer the question honestly for ourselves--How helpful is WHINING?

I have found that continuing to dwell upon all that is wrong, satisfying as that might be, doesn’t help me to solve my problems. Sure, I may feel hurt, disheartened, overwhelmed or betrayed.  But keeping my focus on how I currently feel about my situation creates stagnation and perpetuates the negativity surrounding my circumstances.  

It doesn’t help me to find solutions, to create new realities, or to heal. I just get stuck in the “I don’t like where I am right now” mode. And when I am concentrating on how bad things are, I am not taking the necessary steps to make things any better for myself. And I could even be making them worse. Time spent focused on my problems, is time stolen from their solutions.

If you really need to vent, find a quiet place and have an honest conversation with God. He can take it! Pour out your fears, your troubles, your pain, even your anger. Pick up your Bible and you will find many kindred spirits there! It is full of stories of people just like us, needing comfort, solace, deliverance, harmony and peace.

“O Lord, from the depths of despair I cry for your help:  ‘Hear me!  Answer!  Help me!”

                                                                                                                                    Psalms 130:1-2

Talk things out with a trusted, loving, faithful friend. And be sure to listen to their observations of the situation; they may be much more objective than you are at the moment. (God may have put them in your path with a message)!

And when you are spent, weary from unleashing all that emotion, then take a deep breath, and leave your burdens at the altar of the Lord. Acknowledge that you need God’s help to move forward with a workable solution that will help you to change your current situation. Trust the PROCESS! Revelation, insight, change, often come more slowly than we would like. It is important to be faithful, to be patient, to be humble. These are the lessons of this particular journey. Learn them well, or you will find yourself repeating them often!

Just wallowing in the pain and misery won’t improve your reality one bit. And you are going to stay there even longer if you refuse to move past feeling sorry for yourself. Plus, you run the risk of alienating the very people around you who may be able to aid you in making forward progress.  

When we are first hurt by someone, or some circumstance, we often feel victimized, and perhaps we are. But continuing to feel like a victim is a very destructive pattern of behavior. The attention and sympathy of others can be extremely seductive. All of us enjoy empathy and understanding from those around us. But if you allow yourself to fall into the trap of casting yourself in the victim role for too long, you will hamper your efforts at healing and you may even drive away the very people who are trying to help you.

Even those closest to us tend to lose patience if we are obsessive, immersed in self-pity and/or stop trying to help ourselves. It gets very old, very quickly, trying to assist someone who refuses to accept responsibility, won’t take advice and won’t at least attempt to move forward in a positive direction.

So “whine” for a moment if you must! But move quickly into developing a plan of action that will propel you towards a brighter, happier future. It all starts with a decision, a CHOICE, and that choice is yours and yours alone to make.  

But you are NEVER alone in the process! God gives you the freedom, the power to choose your attitude and where you will put your faith. And he gives you the strength to continue to walk your path towards your destiny. Seek your answers in prayer, regularly, and they will be provided to you as you need them, in perfect timing.  

TRUST the PROCESS! It is the foundation of your lesson! Trust and fear not, doubt not, deliverance is coming! Like the song by Third Day says, “There’s a light at the end of this tunnel for you”.  Your answers are coming. Stay prayerful and faithful. Find joy in the little things around you while you wait for guidance, for wisdom, for understanding, for direction.

“Therefore I prayed and understanding was given me; I called upon God, and the spirit of wisdom came upon me”.    

                                                                                                                                        Wisdom 7:6

Life is one meaningful lesson after another. And the challenges, the dark periods of our lives, teach us much more than than the easy, joyful times. If you are facing your own particular challenge right now, then don’t think that you are being punished! Think instead that God is working to mentor you, to mold you into the person you were destined to be! His attention is focused on you right now--ask yourself why! What is it that you are supposed to learn? Try to be a willing, even a grateful, student!  God has found something worthwhile in you that he is trying to nurture.  

Acknowledge your pain, your fear. Communicate your feelings by talking about them, venting, even whining! But then, move quickly into the role of obedient scholar. Remember that you are a manifestation of God’s spirit here on earth. Cheerfully accept the role of “apprentice”, of God’s “representative in training”.

All lessons, all skills, all jobs, take work and practice in order to learn them well. This is your time! You are in training! God is working with you right now! How will you participate in this process? Will you spend your time whining, or learning? Which choice do you think will move you more quickly towards the joyful, peaceful reality that you seek?  

It has been said that “Perception is Reality”. Make your reality one of cheerful obedience. Look for the message, the lesson hidden within your challenge. When you stop concentrating on all that is wrong in your life, and start looking for the good you can derive from it (and the good you can offer to others), you will find that your circumstances no longer have the power to control your mind, your thoughts, your emotions, and your attitude.  The pain, the frustration, the anger, give way to peaceful acceptance, to joyful obedience, to a hopeful outlook.

And I promise, that feels a whole lot better and accomplishes so much more, than WHINING ever does!

“Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.”

                                                                                                                                         Isaiah 30:20

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister. Please visit her websitewww.inspiredreflections.info, for additional "Reflections" on Life and Marriage. She has just finished the first draft of her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps to bring more Love, Joy and Peace into your life.

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Make Sure Your Marriage Has a Disaster Recovery Plan

As I write this, our headlines are filled with articles about the current state of our economy. We are all trying to cope with massive job losses, downsizing, rising prices, and the fear and uncertainty about our futures. Pressures are mounting within our own families as well, since so many of us have been directly impacted by budget constraints, loss of crucial retirement funds and the necessity for restructuring our way of life.

People are commuting farther in order to find work, traveling more, working for less and staying in jobs that are less than ideal because their options are so limited. All of this stress is affecting our marriages and our family relationships. We are having to scale back our spending and say "no" to things we are accustomed to saying "yes" to—vacations, home improvements, new clothes, cars, entertainment, etc.

So what can we do to protect our most precious investments—our marriages and our families? Well, first we must develop a "Disaster Recovery Plan".

Almost 25 years ago, I was a young wife, full of hopes and dreams for our long and happy life together. We had vowed to stay committed "for better or for worse" and I had confidence that we would live by those words. We had just bought our first home and had started a small business that we believed would eventually provide us with a comfortable future. Then the unthinkable happened--I had an ectopic pregnancy coupled with an ovarian cyst, which necessitated major surgery and meant that I had to be out of work for 12 weeks. I was the primary breadwinner at the time since my husband was finishing school. The economy in our state was experiencing a recession and I subsequently lost my job, which ultimately led to the loss of our business and our home. Within 18 months we were separated, and we divorced a couple of years later. In the short span of about 4 years, we lost a child, a business, our home and finally our marriage. We were involuntary participants in the death of our innocence and our dreams. The pressure, the feelings of failure, the blame, the guilt, and our youth and inexperience; all played a role in the destruction of our marriage. When the "worst" happened to us; we weren't prepared to handle it.

I learned some very powerful lessons, in the most painful of ways. When a catastrophe strikes a family, the marriage is put under tremendous strain. Without a "disaster recovery plan", many marriages do not survive such adversity.

So what is your "Marriage Disaster Recovery Plan"? Do you even have one? Or are you, like my first husband and I, at the mercy of trying to navigate the pitfalls of life without a map?

I went on to marry my wonderful husband and since we have both been married before, we have firsthand experience with what doesn't work. And we have spent the last 18 years of our marriage trying to figure out what does! Our "disaster recovery plan" has been put to use many times throughout our life together. And we continue to refine and enhance it as we have faced job losses, sickness, injury, family disconnect, death, and the trauma of suicide in our family; more than once.

Our own disaster plan starts with prayer. We used to just pray the "God please help us" kind of prayer. But we have learned that God wants us to completely TRUST him, even when we are facing the most horrendous of circumstances. So now, when trouble comes, we make an honest effort to surrender to God's plan and keep reminding ourselves that some good will ultimately arise from our pain and misery. We have learned to pray the "God, please help us to trust and follow your will", prayer.

We don't deny our hurt, but we try not to be consumed by it either. And make no mistake; it is HARD work. When you are faced with a crisis, there are days when it takes everything inside of you to keep from falling apart. The fear creeps in, your mind races through all the awful things that have, or could happen.

But that mindset is really of no benefit to our healing and our hope. Deepak Chopra says that true faith is being "comfortable with uncertainty." Trusting God means surrendering to his "grand plan" and moving forward with complete faith and confidence that the future will be better than today. It means being obedient to his will, even when you are scared and uncertain. And it means never losing hope, even when the odds seem to be against you and God's timing is much slower than you think you need. As frustrating as it is to live through, there is much to be learned from "waiting on the Lord."

"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and don't lose hope…" ~ Psalm 27:14

In addition to prayer, we have found it very helpful to be involved in a small group at our church. We are members of a ChristCare group where we regularly see God's love and support demonstrated by others within our group, as we seek to enhance our spiritual walk together. There is something very comforting about surrounding yourself with people who are walking, or have walked, in your shoes. You witness God's love in action in a very personal and meaningful way.

The other part of our disaster plan is to love and support one another. To talk--really talk, respectfully and lovingly, about our concerns, our hopes, our dreams and our fears. We are careful not to place blame on one another. This is critical if one of you has lost your job! And it is tough to do as you watch your savings vanish, your bills pile up, and your prospects dwindle. But take care not to turn on each other. Be your own best support system so that when you or your spouse does have an interview, you can come across as capable and confident, not panicked and desperate. Your marriage should be the one thing you don't have to worry about during a crisis. But you can't neglect it or take it for granted, either. You have to continue to develop and cultivate it.

If you or your spouse has to work longer hours or travel more, that will obviously pose a certain hardship on the marriage and the family. One of you will have to assume more of the household responsibilities. Trying to make family decisions over the telephone can prove to be difficult. The kids will be impacted by not having both parents there to support them. And you will probably just miss each other and miss spending time together. This can be very frustrating over time.

But it is important not to take your frustrations out on each other. Recognize that you are both doing the best you can to rise to the occasion and that this situation is temporary. It may last much longer than you wish, but things will get better. Be optimistic and supportive of one another and enjoy the times you do get to spend together. Have some FUN; release your stress with some inexpensive family exercise—walking, hiking, bike riding, swimming, etc.

And be mindful that the travel may open new opportunities for you--the exposure to different people in a new work environment, the chance to prove yourself with a new challenge, or you just might be seated next to your new boss on a plane sometime! You never know how God may work and what situation he may use to open doors for you.

So "Trust the Process" and take care to protect the health of your relationship whenever adversity strikes. And while it may be the last thing on your mind, be sure to connect physically and intimately. It will sustain your commitment and remind you that you still love and need one another even if your world seems to be crumbling around you.

Nurturing your marriage when times are tough will strengthen it in a way that success and prosperity will never do. You will forge a bond of trust, reliance, and closeness that will enhance your relationship in ways you never dreamed possible. You will learn the freedom that comes from exposing your true selves to one another, complete with all your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. And you will grow and mature together while creating a healthy sanctuary from the stresses of life.

As you pray together for guidance, help and hope; also pray that your family will turn to God and to one another in love and support to weather the storms you face together. Pray that you will emerge stronger, more unified and more focused on the things in life that are most important. These types of experiences can prove to be very healing and times of great spiritual growth, if you keep your priorities in the proper order.

The next important component of a disaster plan is to celebrate the little things. A sunny day when it has been raining, a gentle shower when your garden needs watering, your child's passing test score, a lovingly prepared dinner shared together, a birthday, the car repair not costing as much as your feared it might, an unexpected visit or call from loved ones, the exuberance of your puppy at play, the laughter of neighborhood children, making all the lights on your way home, the first flower of Spring, the birds singing outside your window, and on and on. The simplest of things should be noticed and appreciated.

And be sure to extend that to one another. That unexpected note or card tucked into a suitcase for a spouse who is now having to travel for work, a kiss that "interrupts" when one of you is dejectedly revising your resume', remembering to prepare a favorite meal, telling your spouse how proud you are of them (even though they may be out of work), a candlelight bath, a walk in the park holding hands—these little thoughtful gestures will go a long way towards demonstrating that you still love and desire one another even though life is tough right now and you are not where you want to be.

I am no longer a "young" wife, but I am still filled with hopes and dreams for a long and happy life with my husband. My life did not follow the original plan that I had for myself, but God dreamed a bigger dream for me and even though it has not been without trials and tribulations, I am learning to trust that the future is filled with amazing possibilities if I can get "comfortable with uncertainty" and truly trust God's plan for my life. And I am sure that as my life continues to unfold, and our vows of "for better or for worse" are tested, we will have many more opportunities to put our "disaster recovery plan" into action. But I have also learned this valuable lesson, "True Wisdom flows from God and comes to those who are not jaded by experience or circumstance, but enlightened because of it." I pray that you will not become jaded by your own adversity, but instead, by faith, will experience the enlightenment of God's wisdom because of it.

"Only in returning to me and waiting for me will you be saved; in quietness and confidence is your strength."  ~ Isaiah 30:15

Deborah J. Thompson is a writer, artist and Stephen Minister.  Please visit her website www.inspiredreflections.info for additional “Reflections” on Life and Marriage.  She is working on her first book, Your Life, Your Choice, which gives 5 simple steps to bring more Love, Joy and Peace into your life. You can find her on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deborah-J-Thompson/50803393657?ref=ts

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